King of Colfax Point
by UndoneChaos
Summary: I really don't know WHAT this is, but it's 4:54 AM right now so it came from that weird part of my brain... Anyway, it's a K2 story and it's pretty messed up... Kind of a truth or dare story... I don't know, just read it!


**A/N: While preceeding to write this story, I flung my kitten off of my shoulder. I was just sitting on my couch reading fanfics when all of a sudden I just up and said, "Kenny", in my Cartman voice. Don't know HOW that inspired me but long story short, I sat straight up and the action caused my kitten to fly off my shoulder. Now, wasn't that an interesting author's note?**

**Oh, and also, I don't even know what this story's plot is, but if you can find one, please let me know.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own South Park. If I did, Kenny would be gay for Stan, Stan would be gay for Kyle and Kyle would be gay for Cartman. So, Kenny » Stan » Kyle » Cartman. And Cartman would be a dildo. Even though he already is.**

**Mental note: Don't try writing fanfics at 2:14 AM anymore. That is your dead minute. I literally just had a brain fart.**

**READ ON!**

"I dare you to… Eat whatever is in Kinny's purse!" Kenny looked up from where he was standing in the doorway. Over his shoulder was a purse of SOME sort.

He glared at the person who had made the comment. "Shut the fuck up, fatass! It's not a purse!" Kenny defended, his words muffled by his hood.

"Ay, calm down poor boy! OK, fine. Satchel, man bag, whatever it is, Kahl still has to eat whatever's in it!" Cartman looked from Kenny to Kyle, an evil gleam in his eyes.

At the words Cartman spoke, Kenny immediately paled. "Oh, no… I don't- well, that's- you don't-" He finally gave up. "Sorry, dude." He said to Kyle, a sympathetic look on his face.

"Aw, man! We don't even know what's IN Kenny's purse!" Kenny shot Kyle a glare. "Satchel, man bag, whatever dude, no one but you cares!" Kyle corrected, looking exasperated.

"Why are you even making him do this? What are we doing? Why MY purse? Satchel!" Kenny mumbled, sitting down and handing Kyle his womanly looking contraption.

"It's truth or dare, dude. That's why your here." Stan answered Kenny, looking extremely bored. Kenny 'hmmphd'.

"OK, fine. What do you even have in here Kenny?" Kyle, who was now holding Kenny's purse, asked. He looked nervous.

"See for yourself." Kenny had a glint of something in his eye that scared Kyle just a bit. He opened the whatever it was and looked inside of it.

"Aww, man!" Kyle paled as he pulled out a condom. Kenny, Cartman, and Stan burst into laughter. "You have got to be kidding me! Dude!" He looked at Kenny.

"Sorry, dude. Pure co-inky-dink!" He laughed at his own strange use of words. Kyle paled even more before turning to Cartman, pure anger flooding his eyes.

"I can't eat this, you can't make me eat this, I- you-… DUDE!" Kyle said to Cartman. He looked on the verge of tears. Cartman merely laughed.

"Oh, come on. Sucking my balls was probably WAY worse than this!" He laughed at the memory.

"Besides," Kenny said, reaching for the condom. "It's banana flavor!" Kenny handed Kyle the condom, laughing.

"I HATE BANANAS!" Kyle had tears pouring out of his eyes now, which were glowing with a fire of anger. Upon seeing this, Stan put his arm around Kyle's shoulder.

"Relax, dude! It's gonna be OK! Just get it over with. You might get sick, but I'll make sure we all pay for your medical bills if you do." Stan sympathized.

"Except Kinny, 'cause he's too poor!" Cartman retorted. Kenny punched him in the arm.

"Alright, but you are soooo going to get it when it's my turn." Kyle put emphasis on the word so to prove his point to the fat boy sitting next to him. He opened the condom and put it in his mouth, squeezing his eyes shut and praying to dear Lord in Heaven that he wouldn't die. He didn't dare chew it, he just harshly swallowed it, willing away the taste of banana and lube from his mouth. When he had finally swallowed it, he ran to the bathroom to spit out whatever banana flavored saliva that was left in his mouth.

He came out about ten minutes later, punched Cartman in the arm, and walked over to the other side of the room where he curled up into a tight little ball, shut his eyes, and whimpered.

Stan got up from his place on the floor, followed by Kenny. He squat down and put his arm on Kyle's back before telling him it was all going to be OK. Kenny, meanwhile, had started pounding on Cartman*, smacking him and punching him and feeling like a hypocrite for it because he HAD laughed _too_…

When that horrendous scene was over, all the boys had returned to their original spots on the floor. Cartman was bawling his head off from getting it** while Kenny was drinking a soda, trying to block out the noise. Stan and Kyle were debating on whether to make Cartman give up food for a week—he had the body fat to stay alive, but it didn't seem evil enough—or to make him run a mile nonstop on the hottest day of the year-where it got up to seventy degrees!—but that seemed lame too—when Kenny turned to whisper something into Kyle's ear.

"Yeah, dude, that's awesome! OK, Cartman, truth or dare!" Kyle happily asked the still bawling Cartman.

"Dare, I'm not a pussy." Cartman had stopped bawling long enough to answer the question. He waited for the reply.

"OK, Cartman. You have to go down to Colfax Point and give five different men blow jobs. And you CAN'T dress up like a chick." Kyle looked at Cartman defiantly, grinning like a madman.

"WHAT? I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO _GIVE _A BLOW JOB! AND I'M DEFINITELY _NOT _GAY!" Cartman hollered, looking absolutely disgusted.

"WELL I ATE A CONDOM!" Kyle shouted back. "Besides, I'm sure Kenny can teach you a thing or two about BJs." Kenny nodded.

"I'm the king of BJs down at Colfax Point!" Kenny said, seemingly proud of the fact that he could please a man like no other***. Cartman just stared.

"HOW WOULD HE EVEN TEACH ME THAT?" Cartman asked, looking bewildered.

"Well I'm not going to _show _you, so listen. Step one: Put their dick in your mouth. Step two: Suck. How fucking hard can it be?" Kenny explained to Cartman. Cartman just kept staring.

"Dude." Cartman managed to get out that one word.

*~oOo~*A Few Hours Later*~oOo~*

Kyle, Kenny, and Stan all sat on the floor of Stan's house, staring at the door and eagerly waiting for Cartman to come back from completing his dare. When they were positive they could wait no longer, Cartman came walking through the door, a slip of paper in his hand and five different men's cum all over his face. He sighed and threw the paper at them before walking towards the bathroom to take a shower.

Before he could get to the shower, Kenny stopped him. Kyle walked over to the paper and read it. It had five different men's signatures on it, none of them he knew. That was probably a good sign, considering that Kyle knew everyone in South Park. The fact that they were all in different handwriting helped too, but Kyle still couldn't be sure.

"OK, Ken. Test him." Kyle said to Kenny. Kenny reached out to wipe some of the cum off of Cartman's face with his index finger. He then, to Cartman's horror, put it in his mouth. After a few seconds, he looked over at Kyle, taking his finger out of his mouth.

"He's clear." He said to Kyle, before patting Cartman on the back. "Good job, buddy. You really DO have balls!" Kenny smiled at Cartman, who was still looking at him in disgust.

"What?" Kenny asked, a little annoyed with the fact that Cartman was staring at him like HE was the gross one who had cum all over his face.

"Kinny, how did you do that? You practically licked the cum of five different men off of my face and you aren't at all grossed out?" Cartman asked, wondering why in the heck Kenny wasn't even a little bit disturbed.

"Dude, I give guys BJs ALL THE TIME! And I swallow, so I'm used to it." Kenny said matter-of-factly, looking at Cartman like 'how can you not know the about me? I talk about it ALL THE FUCKING TIME!'.

"Ay, don't get all pussy on me poor boy! Now outta my way, I need to take a shower!" Cartman pushed past Kenny and stormed off to the shower. "Oh, and before I go, I dare you to make out with Kyle!" Cartman snickered and then slammed the bathroom door.

"Uh, I really don't need to see that, so I'm going up to my room to read…" Stan trailed off, slightly disturbed by the fact that his two best friends might just make out on his couch.

"Oi! You don't actually think…" Kyle started, but Kenny shut him up.

"Dude, he knows. Don't freak." Kenny said, turning to Kyle. They stood there in silence, looking awkwardly at each other for a while before they both sat down on the couch.

"Well, do you think that maybe…" Kyle trailed off, a light blush spreading over his face. Kenny kind of stared at him blankly before understanding what Kyle meant.

"I don't know, I kinda happen to like banana…" Kenny smirked before he leaned over to Kyle and crushed his lips to his.

At the shock of being kissed by a male, Kyle sorta sat there for a while, not doing anything. But feeling Kenny's lips against his own kind of turned him on, so he started kissing back.

Kenny, who had been quite happy when Kyle had started kissing back, had pushed Kyle to lay down before straddling his hips and grinding himself against Kyle. At this action, Kyle wrapped his arms around Kenny, and Kenny pressed his tongue against Kyle's lips which he gladly opened his mouth for. He could feel Kenny's tongue against his own, and his pants were starting to tighten. Kenny could obviously feel this, because he smirked into the kiss.

"You want to know why I'm the king of Colfax?" Kenny whispered into Kyle's ear. All he got was a groan in response, which he took as a 'yes'. He then immediately latched himself onto Kyle's neck like a leech, sucking and biting as he make his way down to Kyle's cock. Once he got there, he stopped, looking for an 'OK'. The gleam in his eyes made Kyle want him more, so Kyle nodded.

Kenny zipped down Kyle's pants and pulled down his boxers, carefully taking out Kyle's dick, which he found to be quite big. Kyle moaned at the touch, completely forgetting where he was. Kenny laughed before sticking his tongue to lick Kyle's member. He then preceded to lick Kyle's shaft, happy at the sounds he was receiving. He then stuck Kyle's dick completely in his mouth, deep-throating him. He was used to it because of all the BJs he gave to earn money. He then started to hum, smiling happily at all of the groans and grunts of his name he was receiving.

Meanwhile, Kyle was trying not to scream out in pleasure. He had never gotten a BJ before but he took a wild guess that this was the best one he would ever have. He found himself weaving his fingers into the blond's hair and bucking his hips up. He felt Kenny smirk at this, humming along his dick like a good little poor boy****. That pushed him over the edge.

"Kenny, unngh, I'm gonna-" Kenny just nodded, not needing any warning. Kyle then came into Kenny's mouth, all of which Kenny swallowed. Kenny then removed his mouth from Kyle's cock, smirking at the redhead.

"So, how was that?" Kenny got up, wiped his mouth, and brushed off his pants like nothing out of the ordinary had just happened. Kyle smiled.

"Just perfect." He then glanced over to his right, where he noticed Stan standing in the doorway, gawking. Kyle, noticing him, gawked back. Kenny, however, wasn't at all embarrassed by the fact that one of his best friends had caught him sucking his other best friend. He just smiled.

"Dear God, please tell me that was all a horrible nightmare." Stan said before turning back around and walking up the stairs to his room.

"Oh-my-god, oh shit-" Kyle was cut off by Kenny pressing a finger to his lips.

"Dude, who the fuck cares?" Kenny asked before leaning down and pecking Kyle on the lips. "But if you really want me to, I'll go talk to him." Kenny then turned around to follow Stan up the stairs, leaving a very confused Kyle on Stan's couch. Completely forgetting that Cartman was still in the house as well.

**AAAH! FIRST BLOW JOB I'VE EVER WRITTEN! IT PROBABLY SUCKS! No pun intended. But seriously, this is the first porno-if it qualifies as that-that I've written. So excuse me if it's horrible. Please leave your comments, good or bad, and let me know what you thought of my K squared porn! OK, that sounded weird…**

***. Thought that sounded dirty…**

****. That too…**

*****. It just screamed 'Kenny'!**

******. Well, he is a good little poor boy. Sometimes I wonder if he's like a fallen angel. I mean, come on! He's gorgeous as fuck, he's a complete sweetheart, and he can't die! It just reminds me of a fallen angel. I also wonder why the Hell he looks nothing like his parents. They all have brown hair except for his red-haired mom, and they ill have brown eyes! Well, at least I **_**think**_** they have brown eyes…**


End file.
